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Friday, August 5, 2011

holding your tongue


no! don't be silly. don't take that literally but i bet it's easier to do just that instead of trying not to say a word/s in those few unguarded moments of outrage.

as i've grown a little older - and wishfully a tad wiser - i realized that words are indeed a powerful tool. it can make and break a man. it can bridge a gap and can also widens it. it can bring peace and can start war. words, spoken or not, leads to an action and draw a reaction. it creates a domino effect on people concerned. keeping in mind the effects it can produce, utter words are brought about by our current emotions. you expect pleasant conversation out of a happy person and vis-a-vis. did you ever heard a perpetual moaner saying something positive ? i don't think so. in moments of anger we say hurtful things. does it justify it? NO. because its a spur of the moment thing. it is not long lasting and given a day or two - after all has been said and done and the dust has settled a bit - you may find yourself regretting what you have said. yes, we can both argue, you have said truthfully what you feel at that precise moment and that somehow a burden has been lifted out of you - good for you! if its a burden, then its safe to say you have been carrying it for quite sometime now. you should have unloaded it the first chance you got when clearer mind is prevalent, isn't it? do not wait for that proverbial "last straw that breaks the camel's back" because by then all roads leads to resentment and anger.i had been that road before and if i could have done it differently i will. now, i am trying to hold my tongue when such moments arises. you may say...que sera sera, if a relationship will end, no matter what was said and done , it will end. true. nevertheless, it may not end in high notes but it doesn't have to leave a bitter taste in your mouth either. do not mire the memories by uttering hurtful words.

we may not have full control of our emotions as its a direct result of circumstances we are in but we can harness how we react when circumstances gets in our way. holding our tongue and counting to ten is a good start. remember, the only people who has the power to hurt you are those you love most and you hold the same power in your hands to those who love you most. so, think twice. NO. think thrice before you say a word because once its out, it stays out!

4 comments:

  1. When I was much younger, I had trouble holding my tongue, got me into a lot of trouble. As I grow older and learned from my past mistakes, I can say I am much better now.

    I am truly enjoying your articles Besty ... keep them coming.

    Have a good weekend !!!

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  2. "the only people who has the power to hurt you are those you love most and you hold the same power in your hands to those who love you most. so, think twice. NO. think thrice before you say a word because once its out, it stays out!"...very well said Esmeralda Odette...like Chay, i always love reading and learning from your thoughts :-)

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  3. when i was a little girl, my mom once told me that words, once spoken, are like feathers scattered in the wind. once you throw them out there and the wind whisks them away, it is IMPOSSIBLE to gather them all up, no matter how hard and how long you try to:( yes, mastery of the tongue, like you advised, is indeed a skill we each much work on constantly, eng. i appreciate your words of wisdom. i am honored to know someone like you, eng, who is not only an intelligent, highly-skilled nurse, an amazing self-taught photographer, a wonderful mommy and wifey, but also a great adviser when it comes to such critical topics as WORDS and their effect on relationships. thank you for this apt reminder. i have definitely learned a lot from you today - first, chalk sea stalks, and now, the power of words:) thank you, eng, for an awesome article!

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  4. Like most, we learn the hard way. One of my favorite books "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" always reminds me to see the situation in relation to the bigger scheme of things. If the problem can be solved without words, then take that path.

    Thank you for this timely reminder, girl. I get a lot from your articles! Loving it! *hugs*

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