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Sunday, September 6, 2009

funny but true.....



Funny enough, these events actually happened!

I was searching the net and landed up on this site. If this doesn't make you laugh, i don't know what else would. Since its weekend, Salitype's post what you want day, thought i'd give this a try......

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm as these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there..
_________________________________

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
______________________________________

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
______________________________________

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
_____________________________________
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
_____________________________________

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
______________________________________

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
______________________________________

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
___________________________________

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
____________________________________

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
______________________________________

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
______________________________________

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
______________________________________

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
______________________________________

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
______________________________________

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people..
______________________________________

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
_____________________________________

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
______________________________________

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
______________________________________

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.



source:butterflycorp.com. image: daniellecorsetto.com

10 comments:

  1. hahahahaha! Hey aren't these some of the Erap Estrada jokes? Regardless, I think he would be a far far better president than the current GMA!

    I think the funniest Q&A I have ever heard is the recent Ms. Philippines one...the "good ehvning" one! hahaha! Have you seen that one? They put it all over youtube! :)

    Thank you for visiting my writings, and thank you for the comment that you left, I appreciate it much. :)

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  2. Oh wow... what better way to start a day than a good laugh! Hahaha! My favorite is the first one "I just LIE there" seconded by "oral!" My students do this a lot -whenever I say: "say something, guys" with no sarcasm what-so-ever, they look at me (wide-eyed) and they go "huh? something?" Hahaha! Nice one!

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  3. Hehehe I've actually read this a long time ago but it still tickled my funny bones. Thanks a lot for perking me up.=)

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  4. This is hilarious ! This made my day too !

    Very cute post !

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  5. Oh, these are hysterical especially the last one. lol!!! Thanks for making me laugh :D

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  6. C...
    thanks for dropping by, highly appreciated!

    no, havent seen nor heard the " good ehvning".

    tes...
    dave was laughing his heart out on the "oral" thingy as well...and youre right ysabelle does the same thing, the say something thingy and she will repeat it to me and i will look at her, she looking back at me and say " what, you said say something!...

    femmepower...
    ha!ha1ha1..i should surf the net more, i am out of touch with this kind of stuff...ha!ha!ha!

    i was laughing so hard that i woke up my little girl!

    chay...
    it made my day, too girl! i still laugh when i read it for the nth time...ha!ha1ha!

    poetic shutterbug...
    oh! the last one was down right hilarious, can't believed it actually happened!...ha!ha!ha!

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  7. thanks for sharing this, Eng! i've had a good healthy laugh!

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  8. Eng! ha!ha!ha! this is funny girlash!:) i remember yung one of Extrada's joke, when they are eating in the restaurant and when it's time for him to pay the bill, he said something like sino umorder ng ambiance? ha!ha! ;)

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  9. ay sorry Eng i mean Estrada ha!ha! ;)

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  10. indeed funny! it made me smile =)

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