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Monday, August 12, 2013

A Dream



Staring at the morning sun seeping into the pediatric ward window gave me thoughts of God's healing grace entering the hearts of the sick children.



My ultimate dream has always been to reach heaven someday….it was never to be really rich…I guess that is why I am still here…still not rich but not that poor …sometimes I wonder if this is right? I mean being contented with enough…know what I mean?

What matters to me has always been just plain good health, a happy family, peace of mind, friends….there was a time I neglected my spiritual life…now I am gaining back my faith…faith that there is a far greater reason for being here on earth than just enjoying what human amenities have to offer…I have always been urged to aim high, to be ambitious- translated in human terms to dream to be rich and famous….own a big house…several cars….but do we really need these things? Me owning a big house and several cars….hmmmm not bad but I think I will feel bad for the rest of humanity who remain in the arms of poverty and starvation…those who no matter how they work hard have been unfairly destined to rot in the arms of destitution because we may not admit it but there really is such a thing as injustice from the moment a child is born to a poor family...where his/her chance for success as defined by the laws of earth is close to nil. It wouldn’t make me feel good at all to be dining in a fancy restaurant or sleeping in a first class hotel thinking of many people out there, literally out there in the cold each night..out on the streets every waking morning..hungry…devoid of worldy needs…asking, praying, hoping for earthly salvation yet always put aside, passed along by uncaring souls…like me, like most of us because we are simply thinking of ourselves..how we would prosper more, how we could acquire more properties, be known all over the world through breakthrough achievements, beauty and grandeur…

I can’t find it in myself to admire rich people…people with big houses etc etc….but I would bow before and applaud a person who runs a hospice..or puts poor kids to school and keeps a simple humble abode…

But then again..the more we have..the more we can share…the harder we work, the more we are blessed. If only human greed is wiped out of the face of the earth..how wonderful life would be…if things were free and everyone shares equally and takes care of what little mother nature could offer…we will all be living in a paradise now….and there will be no global economic crisis. I am afraid that if man continues with his quest for power and influence, there will come a time when even the air we breathe will be for sale in tanks and tanks of flavored gas affordable only by the upperclass...a time when even viewing the sky and the sea would require a ticket and star gazing would be a luxury.

I myself am not perfect…most of the time I am a selfish woman enslaved by modern comfort…and everyday I am struggling to leave that selfish nature and be what God has always wanted us to be…in his own image and likenes which reminds me of a story in the life of Jesus when a young man came to him asking how he would be able to go to heaven and Jesus answered…leave your belongings…carry your cross and follow me…the man became very sad because he was very rich…

This morning a patient gave me three rice cakes….the other day a patient’s mother gave me one apple…..aaaah how I wish they will be converted to four tickets to heaven….the other week a patient held my hand and said a prayer for God to bless me…I felt a cold sensation embrace my entire being and it was worth a lot more than the thirteenth month pay I received…..

I am at the very core of human service now….and I enjoy every second of it minus the exaggeration. This is the life that I chose years ago…I love it down to the smallest detail… because i know that God is all there is to search for…and perhaps all i have been looking for all these years is the scenario i am in now…in the service of my countrymen…

Lord…thank you….i couldn’t ask for more…just for other people to have this day pass with a non-aching stomach and a tomorrow to look forward to…If only everyone prayed for “everyone” perhaps in time, all our problems will be solved. .. and no one will be out there in the cold..and A GOOD ENDING FOR MANKIND can finally be told....


“Please grant me Lord thy healing grace that I may serve you well.”

-kulasa-

5 comments:

  1. "Lord…thank you….i couldn’t ask for more…just for other people to have this day pass with a non-aching stomach and a tomorrow to look forward to…If only everyone prayed for “everyone” perhaps in time, all our problems will be solved. .. and no one will be out there in the cold..and A GOOD ENDING FOR MANKIND can finally be told...."

    very well expressed, zen. i share the same plea...

    ps.
    pagaling po ang doktora... take care!

    ReplyDelete
  2. This morning a patient gave me three rice cakes….the other day a patient’s mother gave me one apple…..aaaah how I wish they will be converted to four tickets to heaven….the other week a patient held my hand and said a prayer for God to bless me…I felt a cold sensation embrace my entire being and it was worth a lot more than the thirteenth month pay I received….....

    you are such a blessing to these people's lives and in turn the blessings pouring down on you many times over. God bless you, my friend!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Zen, I do pray for God's healing grace to keep you healthy and strong so you continue to share God's blessing through your calling.

    about humanity, I guess we all share the same dream, but who is to say that those who have affluence and wealth have no problems and enjoying their lives happily? sometimes, we may feel for the poor, but actually, they may be living their lives more happily and more at peace than the people we think to have the material affluence. God works in mysterious ways, so hard to fathom, but we are happy for His love and His grace to help us through and to open our minds to the world around us.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your good deeds are already piling up as your ticket to heaven =)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Your dreams are priceless .. these are the things that can bring you happiness without a price tag attached to it. The gestures of those people whose lives you've touched are more than enough to compensate a hard day at work. You are on the right path .. just keep doing what you are doing.. you are already reaping the rewards and you are not even in heaven yet !

    You are one of my inspirations and I mean it !

    ReplyDelete

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